Contradicting feelings

This is my habit.

During the last 2 duties which last for 24 hours, i keep asking myself this few questions...

"What the hell am i doing here on a Saturday night?".... "What the hell am i doing at one fullerton when i should be at home sleeping after the overnight duty???"

Almost every duty, i would ask myself that question. Especially if its a weekend night. I mean, weekend nights are the best, and usually it's more happening than the weekdays nights. (thinking about it now, that does not seems to be the case for me)...

And when weekends come without duties, i would ask myself this questions... "I am bored... How come this weekend got no duties?"

And when the call came for volunteers for some duties, i will be among the first few to raise up my hand.

Contradicting huh?? Haiz~~~, the confusing side to a human nature...

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Sometimes, life is so boring that you don't even know what the heck are you doing, and for what purpose.

This feeling usually comes after an interesting, tiring, or happening event, which is happening right now to me.