無間道 in Singapore

無間道, Singapore version.






Yeah...

RTA captured on camera

Accident captured on camera!!!

Quarantine at Chalet

Was chatting with JM on MSN earlier, chatting about motivation, getting motivation by sleeping when the topic was changed to the swine flu, H1N1 virus, and the Singapore's goverment method on fighting against the outbreak by quarantine, using the aloha chalets.

And i got an inspiration, and thanks to JM for refining the words...

Here goes...


Got an Home Quarantine Order
An order which you must roger
An area you can't anyhow loiter
A Chalet you must enter
Go in with a fever
BBQ everynight with other HQO fellowers
come out 7 days later
end up getting cancer
It doesn't make things better

Perhaps some song can come out of this...

Go ahead, have a good laugh...

Homeless

Times are bad...

Economy not doing well... More and more ppl getting homeless, sleeping on the streets...

He's one of them...

Merlion struck by lighting

Chinese have this saying...

"You don't respect, scold or beat your parents, you will get strike by lighting."

I am wondering what had happened between the merlion and his/her parent? Wait... do you know the merlion's parent?? you don't??

Think.. Any other place in Singapore that has a bigger statue of Merlion than the one at the Merlion park? The one that can stare at you, beam at you with green lasers?

Yes.. the HUGE Merlion at Sentosa...

Dunno what i am talking about??

Read this...

Merlion statue at Singapore River struck by lightning; suffers slight damage
By Claire Huang, 938LIVE Posted: 28 February 2009 2219 hrs
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/412182/1/.html

SINGAPORE: In a rare incident, Singapore's longstanding icon, the original Merlion statue at the mouth of the Singapore River has been struck by lightning.

One witness told MediaCorp Radio's 938LIVE that orange sparks flew when lightning struck between 4 and 5pm at Merlion Park.

Staff in the vicinity said they heard an explosion followed by a loud thud when broken pieces fell to the ground.

About 30 people dashed into a nearby restaurant for safety.

Other onlookers continued to take photos of the 36-year-old tourism icon.
- 938LIVE/vm

STRUCK BY LIGHTING!! OMG!!

That is the hotspot for tourist, and local people!! And people could be easily be injuried... Thank god, there's no news of injury.

So, since this incident, this has given us some answers about some queries.

1) We now know that Merlion is a conductor of electricity.

2) We now know why Merlion keeps on vomitting.

3) We now know why Merlion is so pale.

4) We now know why Merlion is so popular...


So, here's what might had happened to the Merlion at that time, if you got the angles correct...

Lame joke

You know, with the bad news on economy on all over the world, banks collasping, companies going bankrupt, lots workers being laid off, primary school kids are still loving it...

Why??

When you talk recession to the kids, they would scream with joy, drop what ever they are doing and rush into the canteen, or the kitchen to look for something to eat or to head to the playground downstairs to play.

Coz they will think that RECESSION is the noun of the following verb, RECESS.

Okie.. lame joke.

Fresh Halloween ideass to scare ppl

Thanks to APPY, who reminded me that Halloween is around the corner...

And there will be scores of halloween parties held all over Singapore... Fancy going to one but you don't know what to dress up as?? Having a terrible headache over it??

Fret not... Here's the S.O's ideas...

Lots ppl would want to put fake wounds and blood...


Some would also use fake hands...

Oh come on... that's so old school... As what the goverment says, THINK OUT OF THE BOX!!!

What about mask??


Do you think that's scary?? People can die from laughter one, you know??

What about this??


Hey, just who is going for the halloween party?? you or the doll??

Some ppl would like to use special effects of the lights...


But seriously, when you see this, will you get a fright or will you yawn??

Other ppl would like to use some special digital visual effects...

I showed the picture to all my friends... they simply laugh instead of screaming in fright...

So, that's out...

And what's new?? What's so new that no one had ever done before??

What's so scary that everyone once see it, will scream and faint with fright??

Here's my recommandation. Do it at your own risk!!!



Opps... did i gave you a fright??

Pardon me if i do...

NDP 2008 goodie bag items

On man...

The items in the NDP goodie bags are getting more and more... ehemmm...

I mean, what the heck is that "thing" that is found in the NDP goodie bag?


Is it a balloon, or a stick, or a toy?

Alright.. who's the wise guy that introduce that "thing" into the goodie bag?

Distractions

For this commmerical break, i am here to present to you the chronicles of one fellow...

While the others were busy working...


He will always do this...
(This is an re-enactment of the situation.)

Peeping in the door, not to see if the other fellows are busy or not.. but just peeping for dunno what...

And the others would sense his presense and did this...


And it can be very tiring for the next, not to mention the chances of getting neck injuries if they are turning too much... And not to mention the distractions that they are receiving...

Indeed so...

So, someone suggested using this method to ward off future similar incidents...


Hope it works.

Interesting picture

Saw a funny picture depicting the general living condition in Singapore... Things that you have to live with, despite being so annoying, being despised of by the general population, and even the fact that it had cause countless injuries somemore...

It's still there, growing at an ever alarming rate...

Jokes about them are circulating non stop, even songs about them have appeared...

Know what's those??

Dunno?? look at the picture below, and try to spot something that is ever so familiar on the Singapore roads...


Picture taken from:
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?id=24438

Have a good laugh!!

For a laugh

Just for a laugh...


The photo says everything...

Skills

My light bulb flashed while chatting with KS on MSN...

What is BCLS instructor attachment program?

My answer??

Teaching people some skills that they will pray that they will never got to put it into use...

To those who are scatching their heads...

BCLS = Basic Cardiac Life Support... Layman terms, CPR.

If you got to ask what is CPR, well, let's say it's a little homework for you...

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Got an announcement to make...

I finally got a girlfriend liao!!!
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Got a shock??

Well, can try this method to deliver a shock to casualties who had collasped, and no AED is avaliable...

Foreign talent

Talking about foreign talents...

Singapore should hire this foreign talent from America, as at this time, can be a great asset to us...

Haley Joel Osment. Yep. That's the fellow that we should greatly consider to get him into our country...

Who is he??

He's an actor... Osment came to fame with his starring role in the 1999 thriller, The Sixth Sense. And he said the famous words.. "I see dead people".

He really should come and help out in our efforts...

Provided he change his sentence to........

"I see Mas Selamat"...

Why teachers always got HBP?

This is good... Taken from the Suzuki Club Singapore forum, posted by TC... Enjoy laughing, and hope it brightens up your day!!!

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Funny Answers From Real Students

1. The future of "I give" is "I take."

2. The parts of speech are lungs and air.

3. The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

4. A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

5. Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

6. Define H2O and CO2. H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

7. A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

8. The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

9. A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.

10. Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

11. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.

12. The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.

13. We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

14. One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

15. A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.

16. One by -product of raising cattle is calves.

17. To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.

18. The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

19. The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

20. Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings

21. The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

22. Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

23. The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

24. In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

25. Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

26. In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

27. A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.
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Jokes

Jokes only for today.... Sensed that more ppl getting frustrated, and hope these will cheer you up...

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Shut-up
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ? The Dog of course . at least it will shut up after you let him in!

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Qualities of a Wife

When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities - She is an economist in the kitchen, an aristocrat in the living room and a devil in bed.

After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain, but not in the same order anymore. She becomes an aristocrat in the kitchen, a devil in the living room and an economist in bed.

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Wishing Well

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned immediately.

The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said: " Gosh ! It really works! "

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Wedding Anniversary

I asked my wife : " Where do you want to go on our anniversary ? "

She said : " Oh ! Somewhere I have never been before ! "

I told her : " How about the kitchen ? "

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Happiest Hour

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, "Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?"

The hubby replied : " Yes, honey, that was indeed the happiest hour of my married life. "

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CAR

Beng and Seng excited and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to remove the key which was in the ignition.

Realizing the mistake, Beng asked, 'Why don't we get a coat hanger to open it.'

'No, that won't work' answered Seng. 'People will think we're trying to break in.'

Then Beng suggested, 'What if we use a pocket knife to cut around the rubber, then stick a finger in and pull up the lock?'

'No,' said Seng. 'People will think we're too dumb not to use a coat hanger.'

The kan cheong Beng shouted, 'we'd better think of something fast. It's starting to rain and the sunroof is open!'
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BREAKING NEWS II

This is told by a good 'ol friend of mine...

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BREAKING NEWS...

Mas Selamat has been found in Malaysia.

"How do you know?" you may ask...

I went into Malaysia yesterday nite with AET and ZX, and at the Singapore Custom, Posters of Selamat was pasted all over the custom, saying that he's wanted and bah bah bah, all those stuff...

And at Malaysia Custom, i saw the sign saying, "SELAMAT DATANG MALAYSIA"

From this website, http://dictionary.bhanot.net/

DATANG = come or arrive

So, Selamat Datang Malaysia means, you go figure it out yourself...
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It's meant to be a joke....

No.. wait...

It's a joke, Laugh...

Buy more sneakers

Don't be surprised when someone dresses nicely starts loitering around sneakers shops, peeking inside to see who's buying shoes, making records and starts interviewing people, or asking them for their resume.

There'a an interesting article on http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080401/lf_nm_life/sneakers_leaders_dc;_ylt=AthFgkO38Mb.zbHtqj6hQJIDW7oF
"Always buying sneakers? It's the sign of a leader: poll
Tue Apr 1, 9:50 AM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Got a passion for buying sneakers? It could be a good sign, with a poll finding that people who buy three pairs of sneakers or more a year are far more likely to be a leadership type that other people. "

So, are you that type of people?

What's makes it more interesting is this...

http://www.straitstimes.com/Free/Story/STIStory_222802.html

"PM still looking for his successor
By Lydia Lim, Senior Political Correspondent

THE Prime Minister faces an urgent task: Find and field those who can take over from him before he turns 70.

Already 56, Mr Lee Hsien Loong is seeking political talent in their 30s and early 40s, one of whom he hopes will emerge as his successor."

It might be a good thing after all to get interviewed after you keep buying shoes...

Just blabbering III

Nothing much... Slacking on last weekend... When i say slacking, i really mean slacking... Catching up on my sleep, going out with my friends, washing my car, waxing my car, supper, watching TV, listening to songs, listening to songs while sleeping and listening to songs while sleeping and having a nightmare at the same time...

Yes.. it did happen... I was sleeping, when i heard a song that actually induces a "nightmare"... Not those scary types of nightmares, but others, which i ain't going into detail. You can ask, but that does not mean i will answer...

What song? I ain't going to reveal... Hahah... but seriously, i like that song. Kinda matches with my mood... haha

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I've changed...

From this


To this...


Why??

Because this,

Matches me!!!

Got the meaning??

Go on... pronounce it... ESSO... Now, say this... ASSHOLE... S.O... Ain't it the same??

Comic strip

I always been a avid reader of this website, http://www.talkingcock.com

And there's this comic strip by Collin Goh, really makes me smile...

Click on it to enlarge!!

Now, does that make you smile??

Pointing fingers

Super interesting stuffs spotted...

Was surfing the Channel Newsasia website, the Asia Pacific and the World news, when the pictures struck me as similar...

On the Asia Pacific page, http://www.channelnewsasia.com/asiapacific/index.htm on 20th March 2008, at 1345 hours, showed this picture...


The Dalai Lama

And on the world page, http://www.channelnewsasia.com/world/index.htm at the same date and time, shows this picture...


See any similar posture??

How come such public well-known, be it famous or notorious, like to point their fingers up in the air??

Are they trying to tell us a message??

"Nope, it's not me, i got the message from upstairs one..."

Thankfully it's their fore fingers, and not their middle fingers... haha